getting married? you’ve got stuff to do…

like Oprah, I saw no reason to wed. I had enough money, real estate and friends. then, I met ‘him’. everything changed.

now, he has met ‘her’. everything has changed again.

my thinking about marriage is different now.

  • merging isn’t always the best thing if both of you have property or if one of you has property. if neither has anything: hell, merge.
  • for heavens’ sake, talk about money, sex, family and jobs around the home BEFORE you get married. I learned my guy was in serious debt just a few days before I moved out of state. not good timing on my part. you need agreements about who handles the finances, how you pay your bills, how you spend. it’s urgent. the rest of the stuff on that list is equally important. most people think these things will work themselves out. they do not. you need to work them out. BEFORE you get married.
  • pets. want some? what kind? where will they sleep? who will do what in taking care of them? do you both agree on how your pets live? run loose, stay home, stay indoors? these things will matter later. trust me.
  • kids. want some? do most of the above list. then add parenting agreements. it will matter.
  • vacations. want some? how will you pay for them? who decides where you will go and how much you spend?

I think if most of these things are addressed before you fall into the stupor of ‘getting married’, you will stand a much better chance. believe me. marriage is really hard. dating is really easy. living together is much easier than marriage. you want to be certain of who both of you are. once done, very painful and very expensive to undo.